Communication: Listening

Most of us would say that we listen to others all the time. However, there’s a difference between hearing and listening. To hear another person means devoting your full auditory attention to their communication. To listen, on the other hand, is a more active and intentional process that can involve not only your ears but all of the senses.

Learning to listen more effectively and deeply allows you to become a source of value to others and vice versa. With practice you’ll learn how to listen not only to the words that are said, but also the words that aren’t said and the emotions relayed.

The Listening Skill is Divided into Three Key Areas:

  1. Give your full attention
  2. Clarify what is being said and confirm back
  3. Be respectful

Give your full attention: make eye contact, stop working on other projects, and make a concerted effort to listen to the other person’s perspective.

Clarify what is being said and confirm back: Validate your understanding of what the other person is saying by briefly restating the substance of what was said. When doing this, try to use analogies and example instead of an exact repetition.

Be respectful: Make every person feel like they have a right to their point of view and that you, in the moment, are ready to prove to the person you are willing to listen. Do this by communicating at the other person’s emotional and energy level by adjusting your tone of voice, rate of speech, and choice of words.

In Your Life:

Listed below are a number of common listening response phrases. Read over these phrases and take a moment to consider how often you use them—whether at the office, out with a friend, or with your family. Ask yourself whether or not there is a better way to begin your response after listening to another. Might there be a way to make another person feel more like you’ve been actively listening and extending respect?

“I don’t believe…”

“You should…”

“It’s not true…”

“What you need to do…”

“You’re really defensive about…”

Challenge yourself to reevaluate the way you begin your response and establish a whole new level of communication and respect with others.

Social Style Tip of the Day:

As we’ve learned, each social style has a different need and orientation, as well as behaviors that aren’t often observed. Learn to communicate more effectively by adjusting your behavior to meet style needs of others. Take a moment to improve your skills by reading the easy tips below:

  • For the Analytical style person: allow for conversations to move at a slower pace and provide time for the person to think about what you are saying.
  • For the Driving style person: keep conversations fast, to the point, and somewhat formal and structured.
  • For the Amiable style person: be prepared for a more informal and less structured conversation with room to relate to situations in terms of feelings and experiences.
  • For the Expressive style persons: remember that these people will appreciate a conversation where they can express their feelings and opinions with room for some fun and witty banter.

From Improving Personal Effectiveness with Versatility, Tracom Group

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