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Hello Ann
As I was thinking about conflict at work, among teams, and between divisions, I kept wandering to conversations I've been having with parents getting children and young adults off to their first days of school. How many "conflicts" did you experience or hear about during the "get ready for school" phase? I'm guessing a few! I hope you enjoy some thoughts about conflict - and how great it can be (as long as it's not a lose-lose argument about what that young person in your life might be wearing to school!) 
Can't We All Just Get Along?
Did you know that…
42% of managers time can be spent resolving interpersonal friction, conflict, refusal to collaborate, and other forms of non-productive behavior in the work place.
Watson, C., & Hoffman, R. (1996[0]). Managers as Negotiators. Leadership Quarterly, 7(1)
It would seem that nobody likes conflict. Most of us would rather not face it, and tend to avoid it when possible. However, when it’s found in the right places and handled in the proper manner, conflict can actually benefit our organizations and produce positive results for our teams and our projects. In addition to acknowledging the benefits of conflict, it’s important to understand that there are steps each of us can take to diffuse conflict, minimize the damages, and reestablish understanding.
What IS Conflict?
Merriam-Webster defines conflict as the “competitive or opposing action of incompatibles: antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons).” However, when considering conflict as it exists in the workplace, I don’t believe that the individuals in our organizations who are experiencing conflict are necessarily incompatible—they just may not understand how to use conflict to give rise to results, and how to diffuse conflict when the time comes.
I love Patrick Lencioni’s description of conflict on a team: “productive, ideological conflict is the passionate, unfiltered debate around issues of importance to the team.” Yes! I’ll have some of that!
And here is Lencioni’s take on why lack of conflict on your team is actually a bad thing:
“If team members are not making one another uncomfortable at times, if they’re never pushing one another outside of their emotional comfort zones during discussions, then it is extremely likely that they’re not making the best decisions for the organization.”
Where might our teams benefit from a little more “productive, ideological conflict” for the sake of making better decisions? What is your team avoiding?
Artificial Harmony
After studying conflict and working with a diverse population of organizations and teams I’ve observed that most groups live in what you might call an anti-conflict bubble. This is what I like to refer to as “artificial harmony”. Members of a team cling to this artificial harmony because they fear that even one step closer to the conflict is one step closer to destruction or murder. I’ve discovered that the best place to be is where you are having almost every bit of constructive conflict possible without stepping into destructive territory and becoming cruel or insensitive with mean-spirited, personal attacks.
Where is the line between Constructive and Destructive conflict on your team?
Social Style Tip of the Day: How to Diffuse Conflict in the Workplace
The TRACOM Group publishes a guide called Managing Conflict with Style. Here are some tips from that publication that can help us diffuse conflict and get some great results.
- Bring out both viewpoints while paying attention to the communication needs of all involved
- Establish an agreement that there are differences of perspective/opinion
- Create an action plan to resolve differences
- Gain commitment by ensuring that everyone is clear on roles and accountabilities and is able to say “Yes!” to the plan.
- Follow-up on resolutions
 Follow me on Twitter for more Social Style tips.
Questions to Consider
- Can you think of a time when your fear of personal conflict dissuaded you from sharing your opinion with a group?
- Have you ever been uncomfortable as a result of conflict, but then observed a good outcome as a result?
- Are there times when you’ve found yourself biting your tongue for the sake of maintaining artificial harmony?
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The September Good Leadership Breakfast
Join me on Friday, September 16th at Paul Batz's Good Leadership Breakfast featuring Jon Nudi, President of Snacks Unlimited Division, the fastest growing business segment of General Mills. He's a rock solid leader whose track record includes a strong history of business growth through innovation. Recently, he guided his team through a catalytic visioning process that connected their personal and professional aspirations
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About Ann
With more than 20 years of experience as a corporate leader, Ann brings an integrated-systems perspective to any discussion or situation and a straightforward, practical approach to coaching and consulting. Ann's unique and varied career and educational experiences allow her to quickly identify and communicate interrelationships among issues, people, and complex organizational systems. Her positive outlook, energy, and participative leadership style enable her to inspire, motivate, and develop leadership in others.
 

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